The Role of the Spouse in Succession Planning
Succession planning is a demanding journey with many unknowns. As the spouse, you're more than just a passenger—you're the co-pilot.
Whether you are a co-owner at the firm, an employee, or simply a curious and supportive partner, your involvement in succession planning is crucial. As a spouse, you bring a unique perspective to the process, whether or not you work at the firm. With that support, a few well-placed nudges, and the occasional "I told you so" (play this latter card VERY carefully), you can help guide your law firm owner spouse make a smooth transition out of the legal profession.
Practical Involvement in Succession Planning
Your involvement in the succession planning process can significantly impact its success. By actively participating, you not only support the transition, but also can help alleviate some of the stress the soon-to-be retired owner might be experiencing.
Shaping the Future Together
Initiate discussions about the firm's long-term goals, aiming to align business objectives with both the law firm owner’s and your own retirement plans. The input can be crucial in balancing professional aspirations with personal needs. A few years ago, a Wall Street Journal noted that 62% of spouses disagree on the timing of their respective retirements and a third disagree on the desired lifestyle. Start communicating!
Set Regular Check-Ins
Schedule weekly or monthly check-ins to discuss the progress of the succession plan. This keeps both of you involved and ensures that any issues or changes can be addressed promptly.
Avoid Assumptions
Don't assume you know what your partner is thinking or feeling. Asking direct questions can prevent misunderstandings and foster a deeper connection. I hate to sound like a broken record, but…communicate!
Join Support Groups for Spouses of Lawyers
Connecting with others in similar situations can provide invaluable support and insights. Many lawyers' spouses face similar challenges, and sharing experiences can help you feel less isolated.
Consider Professional Counseling
If navigating these changes becomes overwhelming, consider seeking the help of a professional counselor or therapist who specializes in working with couples facing retirement or major life transitions.
Hire a Team Of Professionals
A solid team of legal, financial, and business professionals is vital to ensuring the succession plan is sound and comprehensive. You'll both sleep better at night knowing that you have pulled out all the stops to navigate an often difficult terrain.
Beware of typical lawyer thoughts: "Oh, I can do this myself." Yes, you probably can, but how confident are you that you are doing everything right? As the saying goes," You don't know what you don't know."
Emotional Support During Succession Planning
You're married to a lawyer, so you already know they can dissect any argument. But dissecting their own emotions? That's another story!
Transitioning out of the legal profession can be emotionally challenging, with feelings of loss of identity, anxiety about the future, and the stress of managing the transition. As the spouse, you can play a pivotal role in supporting your partner through these challenges. Here's how:
Be a Sounding Board
If there's any one person your spouse will open up to and their emotions, it's you. Encourage your partner to talk openly about their fears, frustrations, and hopes for the future. Remember that sometimes, the most valuable support you can offer is simply being there to listen.
Encourage Open Communication
Help your partner navigate difficult conversations with employees, partners, and clients. Encourage them to be transparent about the transition process, which can alleviate some of their anxiety by reducing uncertainty for everyone involved. Once again, communicate!
Offer Reassurance and Perspective
Remind your partner that while this is a significant life change, it's also an opportunity for new beginnings. Whether they will get to spend more time with family, pursue new interests, or simply enjoy a slower pace of life, your reassurance can help them see the positive side of things.
Plan a Bright Future Together
Whether it's travel, hobbies, or spending more time with loved ones, having a shared plan for the future can provide both of you with something to look forward to.
Adjusting to Life Post-Retirement
Retirement marks the beginning of a new chapter in life. This can be exciting and challenging as couples adjust to spending more time together. Here are two ways to navigate this transition smoothly:
Share Expectations
Discussing your expectations for retirement before it begins can prevent misunderstandings and frustrations later on. Have candid conversations about how you envision spending your time, handling finances, and maintaining individual hobbies or interests.
For example, one couple might agree on spending mornings together but keeping afternoons open for individual activities. This balance between togetherness and personal space can be good for both spouses.
Some questions to consider:
- What are your individual expectations for how you'll spend your time together and apart in retirement?
- What hobbies or activities do you each want to pursue on your own, and how can you ensure you both have the space to do so?
- How do you plan to handle financial decisions and budgeting in retirement, and do your expectations align?
- How will you communicate regularly to ensure that your retirement expectations are met?
- How do you balance social activities with friends and family while preserving quality time together?
Establish Healthy Boundaries
AARP highlights the importance of carving out personal time and space even within the shared environment of the home.
Whether it's a dedicated hobby room, scheduled solo activities, or simply time apart for errands, giving each other room to breathe can help keep both spouses from feeling overwhelmed or stifled.
Some questions to consider:
- How comfortable are both of you with spending time apart, and how can you communicate this need without causing misunderstandings or hurt feelings?
- What activities or hobbies do you each enjoy that allow you to have personal time, and how can you incorporate them into your daily routine?
- How can you create physical spaces within your home that allow you to unwind individually without feeling guilty or distant?
Retirement Hazards: Key Things to Avoid
While adjusting to retired life, here are a few common pitfalls to watch out for:
Over-Scheduling: It's easy to fall into the trap of planning too many activities or trips immediately. While staying busy is good, leave enough unstructured time to relax and adjust at your own pace.
Becoming Overly Dependent: Retirement can sometimes lead to one partner becoming too reliant on the other for entertainment or emotional support. Maintaining other friendships and interests is important to keep the relationship balanced and fulfilling.
Ignoring Small Issues: Small annoyances can quickly build up when spending so much time together. It's essential to address issues early on with compassion and understanding before they become more significant problems.
But Not For Lunch!
While the road to retirement and succession planning can feel like a winding path, with the right approach, it can bring you and your spouse even closer. As the old joke goes, "For better or worse, but not for lunch!" Hopefully, taking advantage of the tips in this post will help make lunch together something to look forward to!
Take Action for a Smooth Transition
Having worked with many couples, I have seen firsthand how a spouse's involvement can make a meaningful difference in ensuring a successful transition. Don't wait until it's too late—start these critical conversations now.
If your partner has been procrastinating, it's even more vital that you take action to get things moving. With my expert experience, I can help advise and navigate this important journey. You can reach me at 612-524-5837, or you can contact me online.
“Roy was such an integral part of our lives for so many months while he worked with my spouse, the owner of an education law practice. I appreciated the incredible professional and personal support he extended during the transition. My husband is accustomed to handling all things himself, but Roy was so good at his job that he was able to rely on him tremendously. His calm demeanor and vast knowledge were invaluable. My husband could not have made this critical transition without Roy. Thank you very much for all of your help.”
